10. You only curse around fundamentalists.

9. You leave your church because the sermon was not obscure enough.

8. You refer to your local assembly as church, synagogue, or mosque depending on who you are talking to.

7. Your blog is a rant about how everyone else rants too much.

6. You brag that you have never been pinned down theologically on any issue.

5. You have yet to read the book of Romans believing Paul was too modern in his thinking.

4. You bring your own wine to communion.

3. You are offended when someone says they are going to “Preach the Gospel” or “Teach the truth” believing they should just “Tell a story.”

2. Instead of a tract, you carry a can of Play-doh in you back pocket. 

1. Your car has a bumper sticker that reads “I think my boss is a Jewish carpenter but I can’t know for certain”

Thanks to Carrie for her help!

C Michael Patton
C Michael Patton

C. Michael Patton is the primary contributor to the Parchment and Pen/Credo Blog. He has been in ministry for nearly twenty years as a pastor, author, speaker, and blogger. Find him on Patreon Th.M. Dallas Theological Seminary (2001), president of Credo House Ministries and Credo Courses, author of Now that I'm a Christian (Crossway, 2014) Increase My Faith (Credo House, 2011), and The Theology Program (Reclaiming the Mind Ministries, 2001-2006), host of Theology Unplugged, and primary blogger here at Parchment and Pen. But, most importantly, husband to a beautiful wife and father to four awesome children. Michael is available for speaking engagements. Join his Patreon and support his ministry

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