Communitcating with God: God does not hot-sync to PDAs (updated)

As I reflect upon this year, one thing is more evident than ever: God does not hot sync to PDAs.

It is odd but true. God has not ever gotten up in the morning, gone to His computer, logged on to the internet, accessed my Outlook calendar, plugged in His PDA and hot synced to me. I don’t know why. It would be much easier for the both of us. Things would go much more smoothly, and I would accomplish much more. My kids would all obey (a good thing), my mother would be well (another good thing), RMM would be changing millions of lives (I know that God cares about numbers–if not, why did He create so many), I would not struggle with sin (sin is bad, isn’t it?), I would treat my wife better (oh yeah), I would be consistent with exercise (which has all kinds of benefits), and the bills would be paid (stewardship is good). I really don’t know why He does not see this. The benefits are undeniable and unbelievable. The technology is available. It is not like I am asking to change the world–well, except with the RMM thing–but it is still not much.

I know what you are thinking. Heaven is far so away that the up-speed would be bad. But that is only on DSL. God could switch to cable (He’s got to have a T1). The prices are very reasonable now. Doesn’t he own the cattle on a thousand hills? Do you know how much a good side of beef is worth?

Now, hot syncing to His computer (the Scripture) may be the solution, but I have tried and discovered many problems. Let me list them:

1. There is an encryption that I have been working on that distorts the transfer.

2. As well, my RAM only has so much memory. Once I get an event synchronized with His, another one comes and overrides the first. Too many events and the program freezes all together.

3. Another thing is that my hard drive is completely unreliable. It has crashed hundreds of times from a virus I have had since birth. MacAfee still has not solved it!  

4. Oh, another related issue. I can’t ever figure out the override system on my PDA. I can’t tell whether the override is set to my computer or the Scriptures. Sometimes my calender has an item that conflicts with the Scriptures. The virus spoken of in 3 is preprogrammed to cause me to click “override source” (the Scriptures). Or, more often, it makes me click “change source to match my calendar.” This works for a time, but then I find other conflicts and my whole life get screwed up. I just can’t get that system down.

The only way that hot syncing to God would work is if he restored my computer back to its original condition (before the virus) and added some firewall to keep that sucker from coming back. I did see that this was on His agenda as I was attempting a sync one time, but alas, there were no dates on His calender. All He has are “tasks” with no further info. Sure they are going to get done, but when?

*Getting a Mac is out of the question since they only sync to the Evil One’s PDAs. How do I know? Well there are more good angels than bad (only 1/3 of the angels fell). That means that whichever there are more of (PC or Macs) are the good guys. And as everyone knows, there are more PCs then Macs. I feel sorry for the naive souls who continue to do business with the Evil One holding out hope against hope that in the end he will really win.

So, the problem remains. God, why don’t you just make it easy on both of us and you hot sync to me, not me to you. But alas, God does not hot sync to PDAs.

Maybe He reads blogs.