If you don’t like them, lighten up!

10. You refer to your local assembly as “church,” “synagogue,” or “mosque” depending on who you are talking to.

9. Your blog is a rant about how everyone else rants too much.

8. You brag that you have never been pinned down theologically on any issue.

7. You no longer identify with the Reformation because they did not prioritize global warming above sola fide.

6. You are offended when someone says they are going to “Preach the Gospel” or “Teach the truth” believing they should just “tell a story.”

5. You have yet to read the book of Romans believing Paul was too modern in his thinking.

4. Your car has a bumper sticker that reads “I think my boss is a Jewish carpenter but yours does not have to be.”

3. You evaluate truth by asking how many people hold to it. If it is too popular, then it is wrong.

2. When someone calls out your name you get angry saying, “Don’t label me. Labels are completely unhelpful!”

1. You leave your church because the sermon was not obscure enough.


C Michael Patton
C Michael Patton

C. Michael Patton is the primary contributor to the Parchment and Pen/Credo House Blog. He has been in ministry for nearly twenty years as a pastor, author, speaker, and blogger. Th.M. Dallas Theological Seminary (2001), president of Credo House Ministries and Credo Courses, author of Now that I'm a Christian (Crossway, 2014) Increase My Faith (Credo House, 2011), and The Theology Program (Reclaiming the Mind Ministries, 2001-2006), host of Theology Unplugged, and primary blogger here at Parchment and Pen. But, most importantly, husband to a beautiful wife and father to four awesome children. Michael is available for speaking engagements. He can be contacted at [email protected]

    8 replies to "Top Ten Signs You Are Taking this Post-Evangelical/Missional/Post-Emerging Thing too Far"

    • Marv

      Or you have “community” tatooed on your left arm and “social justice” on your right.

    • JS Allen

      @Marv and @CMP have challenged my dialectic, FTW!

    • Alden

      lol… #5 cracked me up!

    • ScottL

      Quite the funny post.

    • Man of the West

      As God is my witness, I don’t think anyone can drive me crazy quicker than these people. I don’t so much mind that they hold oddball, completely illogical positions which they cannot justify from Scripture; that endemic to human nature. What aggravates me so badly is that they drip condescension whilst they do it.

    • Hodge

      #1 is too funny!

    • Susan

      Ahh….there are some noteworthy observations here. #2) Yes, they do favor the word ‘unhelpful’ (and Man of the West makes a good point on this one).
      #6) Yes again! It’s always more acceptable to talk about ‘story’
      #5) NPP. Might also want to avoid the book of Acts. Don’t want anyone to get any big ideas about what the church is supposed to be doing…..because we’re too busy redeeming the culture. We are supposed to be ‘on mission’….(but what exactly IS the mission?)
      Marv successfully adds to the list.
      Oh, and don’t forget some of their favorite words and phrases: ‘human flourishing’ and ‘shalom’

    • Richard

      You communicate the meta-narrative through your Twitter ministry.

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