11. He is the one who is in charge. No one is going to make him do anything.

10. We are not sure if he will cross or not. No one knows. Not even God.

9. He has felt the draw of the other side of the road and has resisted thus far.

8. He heard someone yell at someone on the other side calling him a dork. He thought he said “Dordt.” It scared him.

7. Two guys named John and Ed were on the other side. It was too big of a risk (and they looked mean).

6. He will cross the road. But it won’t happen until just before he dies. Insurance. What if he did it early and changed his mind? Smart thinking.

5. Finney and Pelagius just crossed. Everyone already thinks he follows them. To cross now would just confirm their suspicions.

4. He shipwrecked on his way across therefore he never made it.

3. God cast a vote for him to cross. Satan cast a vote for him not to cross. He holds the deciding vote.

2. He did cross the road. In fact, he has crossed it over a dozen times. He just keep backsliding.

1. He did cross the road but stopped half way. One side was Geneva and the other side was Rome.

C Michael Patton
C Michael Patton

C. Michael Patton is the primary contributor to the Parchment and Pen/Credo House Blog. He has been in ministry for nearly twenty years as a pastor, author, speaker, and blogger. Th.M. Dallas Theological Seminary (2001), president of Credo House Ministries and Credo Courses, author of Now that I'm a Christian (Crossway, 2014) Increase My Faith (Credo House, 2011), and The Theology Program (Reclaiming the Mind Ministries, 2001-2006), host of Theology Unplugged, and primary blogger here at Parchment and Pen. But, most importantly, husband to a beautiful wife and father to four awesome children. Michael is available for speaking engagements. Find him everywhere: Find him everywhere

    10 replies to "Top Eleven Reasons the Arminian Did Not Cross the Road"

    • Cadis

      Make up your mind already! yes or no?!! Man! the guys got a green light and he’s just sitting there!

    • Cadis

      Okay, I admit it, that was not so much why the Arminian did not cross the road, as it was showing my frustration (and road rage) that he wouldn’t cross the road 🙂

    • […] 24, 2010 · Leave a Comment From Parchment & Pen: Why The Arminian Did Not Cross the […]

    • Michael T.

      “We are not sure if he will cross or not. No one knows. Not even God.”

      In fairness this is more of an open theist then an Arminian. I bet you could come up with some fairly funny zingers for that group as well!!

    • Ed Kratz

      Michael T,

      True. As you may have seen, I mischaracterized all the groups, including my own!

    • Ask Mr. Religion

      We need one for open theists!


    • mbaker

      12. He wasn’t elected to.

    • Alex Jordan

      Actually, despite what others said, he says he freely chose to cross the road. On the other side, he found out his choice wasn’t as free as he’d thought. 😉

    • […] Top Eleven Reasons the Arminian Did Not Cross the Road […]

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