With all the rioting Michael has incited the past few days, I thought I would let everyone in on the reason behind it all. The method to the madness. It is because Michael Patton is a heretic! The following are the top ten reasons why…

10. He uses big fancy words like Prolegomena.
9. He has a lot of books about postmodernism in his library.
8. He has a lot of books about the Emerging Church in his library.
7. He writes letters to the pope.
6. He wanted to write letters to the bishops of the Eastern Orthodox Church but couldn’t find the words.
5. He realized he didn’t need words to communicate with the EO so he painted pictures of himself with a halo around his head. (Dan has to dole them out next time he is in Greece.)
4. He invented the arch (TTP students who have taken Trinitarianism, yea you know what I’m talkin’ ’bout).
3. He can not be pinned down theologically. (Believe me I have tried! One would have better luck getting the pope to state Protestants have genuine churches.)
2. He agrees with Dan Wallace.

And finally…. the number one reason why Michael Patton is a heretic

He disagrees with..


    9 replies to "Top Ten Reasons Michael Patton is a Heretic"

    • richards

      This is why I love this place!

    • stevemoore

      But the real question was if it was the liberal-leaning left cheek, or the historically sensitive, theologically correct, elect right cheek? I mean, saying tongue in cheek is fine, but really… we all know that _which_ cheek is significant and can be very divisive.


    • JoanieD

      Very funny, Carrie H! I bet Michael will get a real kick out of it.

      Joanie D.

    • Rob Reid

      FREEDOM! In light of Carrie outing Patton as a heretic, I feel compelled to be honest,…. “my name is Rob, and I am a heretic.”

    • C Michael Patton

      “Hi Rob!” Welcome to heretics anonymous. We are glad that you have passed step one.

    • Carrie Hunter


      I am glad all of you guys like this. 🙂

    • Carrie Hunter

      LOL Steve!

      I would say the cheek on the right side of my face as that is my best profile (and is the lest heretical)

    • Pope Benedict XVI

      You forgot to say that he is:
      catholic and not Catholic.
      orthodox and not Orthodox
      fundamental and not Fundamentalistic
      a father but not the Father
      a son but not the Son
      a free spirit but not the Spirit
      and finally
      he is cool dispite the fact he likes U2 Carrie

      Mr. Pope (aka poep)

    • ErasmusClay

      He is indeed a heretic, else how could he (not He) allow me to blog hereon.

      The primary objective of all Bible study should be application.

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