I know that I said that I would not take the title, but something happened today that has forced me to reconsider both the titles postmodern and emerging. I do believe that I am now an emerger. Here is the story…

 For the last two years I have cut my hair myself. It saves me quite a bit of money. I purchased one of those clippers from Walgreens that allows you to put a failsafe attachment on the clipper and cut your hair. Since my hair is so wavy, I don’t really have to worry about being precise. I simply put a #4 (about a 1/4 an inch) and cut the sides and then I trim the top, leaving it longer. It has worked for years.

Today I was doing the same thing. Using a #4 on the sides, I had only one run left on the left side just to make sure that there were no missed hairs. What I did not realize was that just a moment before the last couple of strokes on the back and side, the #4 failsafe attachment was no longer attached . . . it had fallen off!!

So, I looked up and to my horror this is what I saw:

Never fear. I am from OU and Brian Bosworth rocks! I have been considering the emerging church. When in Rome… Even though my six year old daughter Kylee ran off crying to Kristie saying “That is not my dady” and regardless of my wife laughing her life away on the ground, I made it even. But it did not work so well. Here is the result.

The back had one strip that I managed while unaware of the problem, so I evened out the back. Here it is.

Notice, you can see the original strip towards the right. Sweet!

Oh well, such is life of an emerger. Now for the nose ring.

C Michael Patton
C Michael Patton

C. Michael Patton is the primary contributor to the Parchment and Pen/Credo Blog. He has been in ministry for nearly twenty years as a pastor, author, speaker, and blogger. Find him on Patreon Th.M. Dallas Theological Seminary (2001), president of Credo House Ministries and Credo Courses, author of Now that I'm a Christian (Crossway, 2014) Increase My Faith (Credo House, 2011), and The Theology Program (Reclaiming the Mind Ministries, 2001-2006), host of Theology Unplugged, and primary blogger here at Parchment and Pen. But, most importantly, husband to a beautiful wife and father to four awesome children. Michael is available for speaking engagements. Join his Patreon and support his ministry

    15 replies to "One mistake and now I am an emerger"

    • sellison

      funny. New blog series – 7 reasons not to cut your own hair.

    • C Michael Patton

      That sounds good, but I am starting to like it. Although I have to go pay two speeding tickets tomorrow and not excited about what the judge will think. 🙂

    • Ed Kratz

      The hair looks great, I am curious though, how is that you have speeding tickets? Are you paying them for Rhome? Having ridden with both of you, this seems illogical!!!

    • C Michael Patton

      I have not had a speeding ticket in fifteen year and then I got two in one week. What is up with that Lord?

    • Carrie Hunter

      That isn’t so much an emmergent hair-do as it is gangsta lean. yo

    • C Michael Patton

      Well, do you remember flock of seagulls?

    • Carrie Hunter

      Yes i do… Michael you should run…run so far away …from the clippers when you think of cutting your hair again

    • C Michael Patton

      That is quick and good. Great song. Although, I really find the 80′ music unpalatable. Too much love stuff. I really like the grunge things better, but I don’t think my hair qualifies.

    • Carrie Hunter

      except for “Pride (In the name of LOVE)”… that appeals to the musical taste buds… (Like how i worked in a word for our boys?) 😀

    • Scott Arnold


      I’ve cut my own hair for some time, but down to 1/8 inch. A couple of months ago I was trimming around my ear from back to front and accidentally shaved half my left eyebrow off!

      Then… I decided I had to shave both off entirely to even it out. It was pretty scary looking – and I was just thankful it wasn’t summer where I would have had the tan issue!

      Nice work Michael “the emerger”!

    • C Michael Patton

      Now, I would have liked to have seen pictures of that. How do you cut off your eyebrow?

    • Scott Arnold

      It was easier than you might think. I just went over the top of my ear toward the front and accidentally came down to far across the right side of my eye.

      Like you, I have dark hair (what hair I do have), so the only solution was to shave the rest off. Every time my wife looked at me she just laughed and laughed – for 3 weeks!

      There’s a pic of me at my blog, http://www.christiantelegram.blogspot.com – so just imagine me without eyebrows. But they’re back now… and I’m much more careful!

    • sberrios

      I had been considering cutting my own hair for quite some time (could save me about $200 a year). . I stopped considering the idea this morning 😉

    • richards

      My wife has cut my hair for years. But you, Michael, you have set a trend that should be emulated. Or immolate. It’s one of those.

    • stpattykid

      Michael, I didn’t want to say anything in class but I suggest you rent Branaugh’s and Olivier’s versions of Henry V. You’re haircut is the classic representation of that great king’s haircut. So brush up on your “St. Crispin’s Day” Speech.

      B.A. Hill

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