Giving Up On Life

About thirteen years ago, right after my dad died, I felt like I gave up on life. I wasn’t going to end my life because I knew from experience the impact that would have on my family and loved ones. But I gave up on other things. The main thing I gave up on was myself. I don’t know why, how, or exactly when it happened. I remember feeling intense self-pity, like I couldn’t go on. I felt like Jonah sitting under the tree, mad at God. I had slammed the gavel on God and decided I was not turning my face toward Him for a while. Something emotional just dropped out from under me.

I gave up on everything except my kids and my responsibilities to them. Even then, I wondered, if I’m giving up on myself, won’t they see me? And when they do, am I also giving up on them?

It’s nice to be back to a better place. It took a while and I still have a ways to go. If I could talk to my former self, I’d say, don’t give up. Stop with the self-pity. Keep the patterns you learned and don’t stray an ounce. I know we all say this and it is platitudal and trite. But I often think this.

Self-pity played a big role in my situation. I was just kicking the dirt. I don’t know why and we don’t know what the straw is that will break the camel’s back, but we all have a breaking point. I guess I should have followed the principles of the sabbath the way I taught to others.

We all face hardships in life, and it’s tough. I’m not saying you’ll find redemption easily or that everything will turn around quickly. Life can be hell, but you’re likely further along than you think. Don’t give up. Keep pressing forward. Life is hard, but we can make it.

Let’s get back on the road together. God will use everything that’s broken inside you. I know it sounds cliché again, but clichés are clichés for a reason. I have to believe that as I continue to move forward, and I want you to believe that too.

Did you know I’m on Patreon? Follow everything I do.