Are you possessed with fear that your Christian faith may be worthless, untrue, or naive? Do you constantly question whether you are really a believer? Are you paralyzed by the thought that you might become like so many who used to be Christians but left the faith?
Ninety-five percent of the time, this is a common form of OCD called Scrupulosity. It is highly irrational and, often, progressive. But it is not necessarily degenerative. In fact, of the dozens of people I have talked to who were suffering from this, all of them eventually recovered.
Fear: “I don’t feel like a believer anymore!!! Help”
The first thing to realize during these episodes is that the level of your emotional engagement in your faith has nothing to do with your membership in God’s family.
I may say the same thing about my wife. I don’t know if I believe her. I don’t know if she is faithful. I don’t think I love her anymore. I want to betray her.
All of those don’t determine whether you are married. It could be that all of these things are true, but until I formally leave her, and publicly denounce our marriage, as an act of the will, I am still bound to her.
So it is with God. Everyone goes through times of unbelief, anger, and doubt, but this does not divorce us from God. After all, where else are we to go? What presents a more rational argument? Islam? Scientology? Atheism? Some other religion? No, these are all rationally bankrupt.
We are by default still with Christ, even when it doesn’t feel like it.
In marriage, you just back off and let your emotions rest. They eventually come back around. But if you dwell on things, they are prolonged. Quit trying so hard to prove to your emotions that you are a believer. Just relax in the fact that you have not divorced Christ and found someone else.
I have a lot more to say about this, including the necessity to go to a qualified therapist who uses ERP (Exposure Response Prevention), but this is enough for now.