I’m currently in a six month eldership process at my local church. This series is taken from questions asked during the process.
How would you respond to a couple at your church that just miscarried 9 weeks into pregnancy? What scriptures would you take them to?
I don’t know exactly what I would do or say until I’m in the moment and hopefully being led by the Holy Spirit. More than likely, however, I would say very little and there’s a good chance I might not read any scripture if the moment is really fresh. I would start by simply telling them that I’m so sorry this has happened. I would let them know that I love them and I’m so sorry. I’d ask them if there’s anything I can do to help them out during this time. Since a DNC can be expensive I’d probably try to come up with some money to give them in a simple card. If it seems right I’d ask them if I could pray a simple prayer for God’s hand to carry them through this time. That’s it. I think very rarely do people want to “be taken to certain scriptures.” If I did happen to go to scripture it would probably be one of the Psalms of lamentation.
If they do start asking biblical questions then I’d try to find out what they’re thinking before going in any pre-determined direction. They could be wondering if their child is in heaven. They could be wondering if God is punishing them for living together before they were married. They could be wondering if God is a good God. The sky is the limit in a situation like this but I would hopefully be able to direct them to the loving heart of God, their security in Christ (if they are in Him), all trying to be careful not to cut short the rightful time to mourn. In situations like this I try to say less and focus most on just being there and being available over the coming days, weeks and months where thoughts and feelings can go in many directions including anger and even struggling to stay close to your spouse as you grieve differently.
I would hope to be prepared to go with them down any biblical path they would like to discuss but I think a lot of pain can be caused if I go into that conversation with any pre-arranged group of verses I want to communicate. I want to serve them and hopefully I will be sensitive to the Spirit regarding how to best love them in such a sad time.
How would you respond to the same question? Please comment below to be of help to the Body of Christ.