I received this email yesterday. It was in response to my “Scared” post. The basic thesis seems to be that I am characteristically crying out for attention in an unhealthy way that reveals some underlying sins.
You ask people to follow your leadership, to pay attention to your words and teachings. This is a defacto property of your public and indiscriminate “ministry” via the internet. You need to respect and accept rebuttals, you appear to be unable to do this at many points, particularly when it is unflattering. A big ship cuts through many a wave, a small ship needs rescued.
Now, that aside and to your recent article. It is what I would estimate to be the pinnacle of your recent wave of whining and doubting which, as I look back, actually appears to be part of your internet ministry for quite some time. About now you wish to stop but you cannot, you’re angry and good because you need to stop with all of the emotional dysfunction parading as virtuous doubt. You are abusing your audience and your students.
I posted a response at your website, have not seen it accepted as of yet but here it is:
Why do you insist upon using your blog as your confessional/therapy room and imposing so many of your doubts and insecurities upon the world of your reader?
Ever heard of the sympathy syndrome?
It is the kind of person whose overriding impulse is to share problems in order to garner sympathy and illicit suggestive answers for personal problems.
It is one thing to address problems common to us mall and admitting you share such things and then providing a response but your indulgences into intimate confessions with the world frankly is narcissistic.
Dignity and discretion should teach us that screaming when we are hurt is reserved for dire circumstances to get aid when we cannot resolve our issues personally and privately without drawing (unneeded) attention to ourselves at each injury.
Yes, I sympathize with doubt and confusion but not when the doctor treats his own patients as his own physician.”
You have greater issues than doubt. You have a grave personality dysfunction which is unresolved. I cannot imagine how you ask people to follow your leadership under such conditions and with such constant manifestations of uncertainty, doubt and emotional vacillations.
(I left this response unedited)
She (this was written by a female) brings up some interesting observations (even if it is in a rather unhelpful polemical manner). It is interesting that I received this from someone who I don’t know, have never met, and have no interaction with that I know of. She did not write me to ask any questions, did not call, and seems to have no intention of irenic engagement. But she seems very sure of her analysis of my psychology and spirituality.
It is very true that I write from my darkness and most of the time when people do this they are crying out for help and are in an alarming situation. Yet, behind the scenes, I am very intentional about these type of posts. They are so hard to write, but I feel I need to post them anyway. While I will drive many people away, thinking I am basket-case just wanting attention, I believe there are some people who are in a desperate place who need to see other Christians in a place similar to their own.
I wrote her back telling her that she might be right. I don’t know the depth of my heart. Maybe there is some sinful motivation behind these posts. But I am not inclined to believe I am using this blog as a “confessional/therapy room” (at least for myself).
If you believe I might be going down a sinful path, I would love for you to ask some questions before you make harsh judgments. Get to know me (and others whom you may have a watchful eye on). It is not too hard and will go a long way in unerstanding why I write like I do.