Those darn Buzzfeed Christians are at it again; putting us wholly uncool, manifestly square Christians in our place.
Since I have an affinity for Socrates I thought, instead of answering their questions I would ask them questions in response to the questions they posed.
Let’s see how it goes….
Do you really think He (Jesus) is freaking out because His name is not on a cup that you can hold for 10 minutes while you drink your pumpkin spice latte?
Do you really think any Christians were actually freaking out about it? Do you actually have proof that legions of believers were in sackcloth and ashes, beating their chests and pulling out their hair because of the notorious Red Cup Affair?
Why does Christian music always sound like a mixture of like Nickleback and Third Eye Blind?
Have you ever heard Bach?
Did your devotions actually happen if you didn’t post about it on Instagram?
Would a better use of your time on Instagram be that of posting photos of your lunch or dessert, or the new coffee table you constructed from reclaimed wood?
How come we all love Tim Tebow? I mean I do love him but I don’t know why?
Are Christians not supposed to love all people? Is Tim Tebow not a people?
Why can’t you just pray. Why does it have to be a prayer and then like someone in the background being like “bing bown bown”?
Why do you have to be such a fundy Baptist and complain about the music in the first place?
How come everyone’s still supporting Donald Trump?
Do you think it wise to use the overstatement everyone? As you, yourself would be included in everyone? So using your own statement regarding everyone, and realizing you would qualify as part of that collective, why do you still support Donald Trump?
Why are we so afraid to talk about sex? Sex is good. Have you read Song of Solomon?
Why is it, that for those of us who don’t talk about sex, Cinemax style, that is somehow tantamount to our being fearful of the subject or moreover utterly silent on it?
How come we all love Chick-Fil-A?
Has it occurred to you Mr. Overstatment, that Chick-Fil-A is the modern-day, cultural equivalent of Old Testament manna?
Why do you think Facebook is an appropriate place to discuss theology?
Why do you think BuzzFeed is?
Why when Paul said that we all have our own individual gifts that we feel the need to fit into this absolutely perfect mold that’s impossible?
Of what mold do you speak? Is it on the same shelf as the mold you’re expecting these Christians you’re complaining about to fit?
Why are we as Christians more known by the things we hate than by our acts of love?
Why are you and your fellow Buzzfeeders complaining about other Christians? Couldn’t your time be better spent by telling them how much you love them instead of criticizing them and hatin’ on ’em?
Why do you think Christianity and Science are incompatible? If anything Science makes God a lot cooler.
Why are you asking Christians that? Is it not the case that those who are most vocal about the fictional incompatibility between Science and Christianity are typically Atheists whose worldviews are entrenched in philosophical naturalism? Also, when was God interested in being “cool”?
Why are you so adamant [hey look that says Adam Ant – “Goody Two Shoes” – coincidence? I think not!]… but why are you so adamant about exercising your religious freedoms but then get so offended when people of other faith exercise their religious freedoms?
Would the real question not be why are other people’s religious freedoms deemed cultural expression yet Christians expressing their views is typically deemed bigoted hate speech?
Why do you feel like I have to constantly be preaching in order to be a good Christian? Is showing my friends love and grace not allowed to just speak for itself sometimes?
Why are you preaching at people who tell you, you need to preach? Shouldn’t you simply respond to them with love and grace and let that serve to change their hearts and minds?
How come there is a church on every block but for some reason we can’t figure out a way to work together?
Since you, Mr. Overstatement, used the word “we” again, which is all-inclusive, perhaps you would be better equipped to answer the question, would you not? So do tell. Why do “WE” not get along?
Why is there so much racism, sexism and homophobia in the church? Galatians 3:28 says there’s neither Jew nor Greek, neither slave nor free, nor male nor female, for all one [sic] in Christ Jesus. So doesn’t that pretty much tell you that none of that stuff matters?
None of what stuff? Are you saying that this passage advocates no distinction between races or sexes so therefore there is no such thing as race and sex? Does this passage negate the presence of skin color and genitalia amongst individuals? Is it possible you are not understanding what this passage of Scripture is actually communicating? Furthermore is it possible that Beelzebub will be building snowmen in hell before this passage could rightly be seen as advocating homosexuality?
Why when the main message of the Bible is to love one another that we choose to do the opposite?
Why are you equating certain ideas and attitudes with that of being unloving? Are you saying, for example, people that are judging others are unloving? If so, shouldn’t you stop judging other Christians and love them?
How come when we talk about men having several wives in the Old Testament we say “cultural context” but when we talk about marriage today it is strictly one man and one woman?
Firstly, how come you fail to elaborate on what “culture context” entails? And second to that, how come you, who are seemingly so fond of quoting Christ, failing to reference His statement regarding marriage being between one man and one woman?
Why does having a diverse group of friends make me less Christian?
Does your diverse group of friends consist of people who think marriage is between one man and one woman? Does your diverse group of friends consist of people who “preach” all the time? Does your diverse group of friends consist of people who think homosexuality is a sin? Does your diverse group of friends consist of people who eat at Chick-Fil-A…and love it?
Why does the church consider LGBT Christians as “less than”? I don’t remember their being a demographic of people that Jesus saw as being less than?
Are you familiar with the Pharisees? But seriously, do you mean to say, that because some Christians view LGBT people as sinful in their lifestyles that somehow means we see them as “less than”? If so, then are you aware that Jesus saw all people as “less than” as a result of their sin? Do you not realize that is why He died … for all of us?
You know all the grace and forgiveness and love that we’ve all received? How come we can’t find a way to extend that to other people?
Tell, Mr. Overstatment why can’t “WE” seem to do anything? Would you please tell me, since you are part of the collective WE in which you continue to include myself and millions of others?
Why do you feel like love the sinner and hate the sin is an OK thing to say? You realize that is condescending and still separating them as an other, right?
Why do you have a problem with people who say this? You do realize that pointing out they shouldn’t say it, is condescending towards them and separating them as “an other”, right?
Why do you think that you can judge my relationship with God off a handful of statements?
Why do you think everyone in this video can judge all those many Christians’ relationships with God based on their views that are contrary to your own?
You get mad at me for not being able to back up what I have to say but you end up taking Scripture out of context so many times?
Do you think that because others take the text of Scripture out of context and misuse it, it then justifies your ill use and mistreatment of it? Do you not think it better that all people strive to understand the total witness of Scripture as a collective system of thought and not take anything out of context, ever?
What makes you decide what makes me a good Christian? Last I checked, everyone’s relationship with God is personal.
So why are you, and all your fellow Buzzfeeders, moaning about what other Christians are doing? Why are you asking “Other” Christians all these questions, if their relationship with God is personal? Should they not be left alone? Should they not be pestered with your questions?
In the end the grand message here is that you are supposed to love one another. And I’m sorry if I sound like a Hallmark After School Special, but it’s the truth.
Are you not aware it is the ABC Afterschool Special not Hallmark?